Paradise Lost

An interesting article from TOI -

There's no such thing as bad news, only good stories.

The way bad news gets reported in the newspapers these days, it gives an impression that all that is happening in the country is rape, loot, murder, mayhem, midnight brawis, wife-beating and match-fixing. The daily dose of horror stories is enough to push a shrink to the brink and make him seek some serious counselling.

But such despondency is uncalled for because India continues to be a paradise, a safe place to live - provided one prays four times a day, avoids Noida during the day and Juhu pubs during night, does not walk into terrorists hideous at strategic locations, does not argue with auto drivers in Chennai or cross the main road more than twice a day. Further, a lot of good things do happen around us. But every editor thinks that it is his solemn duty to give readers a taste of hell before they get there.

Every evening, the editorial team meets with great enthusiasm to decide what would go into the next day's edition. The confabulations proceed along the following lines:

The editor says, "What have you got today? Anything interesting?"
A reporter blurts out with excitement: "I have a great story. Two young Indian mountaineers have scaled Mt Everest from the south face and hoisted the Indian tricolor atop it. The heroic feat could inspire millions of young minds."
The editor flares up, "Are you mad? We are here to sell the newspaper, not inspire people. I want something sensational!"

Another reporter shouts gleefully, "Sir, what about this? A man living in south Delhi threw his wife out of his bedroom window and she landed on her mother's car. She was rushed to the hospital where the surgeons operated and left a scissor inside her belly."
The editor smiles, "Yes, this seems to be a gripping story full of action, passion and emotion. Talk to that guy and find out if this is the standard method he used to send his wife to her mother's place. Ask a few psychiatrists what sort of a traumatic experience in childhood can make a man throw his wife out of the window when he grows up into an adult. Get in touch with the surgeons and find out whether they are going to include the cost of the scissor in the patient's bill."

Another reporter says, "I have some interesting stories. An Indian astronomer has reportedly found some life forms on Mars."
The editor is not impressed: "There is so much life all around us and we have no idea how to handle it. Why bother about life in some distant planets? Spike the story."

The man from the metro desk reads out a story filed by a reporter from Noida with a puzzled look on his face. "This afternoon, the people of Noida took out a grand procession to celebrate the death of a 50-year-old man. THe report gives a detailed description of the family he headed, the servants who worked at their home and the name of the doctor who attended to him. It sounds positively insipid to me."
The editor smiles, "This is Noida. A person dying a natural death is an uncommon event here. Take the story."

"Here are some more. A municipal corporator spat paan on the opposition leader's shirt. A drunked driver ran over three persons sleeping on the pavement."

"Ha! At last some good stuff. Let's have a graphic showing step-by-step how the paan-spitting would have occurred. Talk to the drunken driver and find out how he missed the two other people sleeping nearby. Splash this stuff all over the front page and push Manmohan Singh's Myanmar visit to the inside pages where no one will see."